Saturday, August 29, 2009

What's behind the title?

2 Big Brothers and a First Time Daddy!!
The boys, have been "talking about" a baby for sometime now. I guess it probably started a year ago. I kept telling them they need to behave more so Daddy might decide he wants a baby! In June, when we were in CO for 10 days the boys (and me too) went through a huge, "I want a baby girl" stage! That just wasn't easy being around Maddy and Addi and Lily too! TOO many cute baby girls! I would say Oakley and I have had a dozen "baby sister" talks since then! Recently, Jett decided he could live without a baby but he did tell me that if God gave him another little brother he would still love him! Around the end of June the boys and I had a talk about "how we could possibly get a baby sister." They asked, so I told them! FIRST, God wants you to be married, which mommy and daddy are! Then mom and dad have to spend alone time praying about a baby and then God will decide if He wants to give us a baby! That was that! They were completely satisfied with that explanation! We haven't told them the good news yet! It is just too early and they don't need to "wait for too long!" If we wait until I am farther along chances of miscarriage are lower and plus they won't have to wait as long for their baby! However, just last week Oakley brought up wanting a baby sister again so I couldn't resist! I told them that I had talked Daddy into accepting the baby idea and that Mommy and Daddy had been praying about a baby! He was very excited that it was now a possibility! I thought it was only fair to tell Jett as well! He was happy but less excited. I did remind them both that the rest is up to God! God will decide if we are to have a baby in our family and if we get a boy or a girl!
Okay, So even though Cory is Daddy to the boys he doesn't have a clue about having a newborn. He doesn't even understand about this pregnancy! Cory became a staple in our family when Oakley was 2 1/2 and Jett was 4 1/2. Generally, Cory puts forth the effort to be a good daddy but he really "lucked out" with no diapers, no sleepless nights and not too much puke!!! So, in essence, Cory is a "first time daddy!" I was just thinking he is about to encounter a plathera of "firsts..." first time to hear a baby's heartbeat while it is still in the womb, feel a baby in-utero kick like he is trying to play soccer in there and of course there's the whole delivery thing! We won't scare him with that yet! (This is a little different than being married to a male nurse!!!!)
I just firmly believe that Cory needs this baby to FEEL what it feels like to REALLY be a DADDY! I pray he will melt when he hears the heartbeat and feels the baby kick! I pray he will be brought to tears when he hold HIS newborn baby in his strong arms for the first time!!! I pray there will be instant bonding with his baby! I also add to my pray requests that through this entire process he will bond more as a FATHER to the boys! That he will learn what it truly means to be a DAD and his heart will be all about (God and) his family!
Ya know a mother's heart is all about her kids! My kids are my life, I sacrifice so much for my kids, I give them the food off my plate, stay up with them in the night when they are sick, and just go out of my way to fully support them! That's just what mom's do! I know Cory does his best with the boys but since he hasn't been their dad since day one I just don't think he has that TRUE DAD BOND that this baby could bring him! Praying for this baby to be God's plan for all of us but especially for Cory! I'm asking God to do great things with Cory and our whole family through this baby! WHAT an amazing blessing this precious baby will be!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

back tracking,,,

So, we just found out,,, Tuesday Aug 11th, that we are expecting. I knew I was a day late but never thought much, as that could be normal. I was talking to a friend, Susie, and told her I was craving a glass of wine. So, we discussed I better go test first! I did and it was immediately 2 lines! I freaked out, started shaking and called Susie back! She was of coarse, super excited for me and she wished me luck with telling Cory.
I waited until the boys went to bed and then I showed Cory the test along with the instructions so he could read what a positive test looks like. I think I really caught him off guard and he actually tossed the test back at me! Needless to say, he was in denial and I think still is a bit shocked!

We figured night of conception was July 28th!!! (what a fun night!)

I went to the Dr. for the preliminary tests last week on Monday Aug. 17th. That all went fine!
I have just been praying about this pregnancy sticking, a full term pregnancy and HEALTH for the baby and myself! YES, I would like to pray for a girl but honestly, just a healthy baby in my arms, in April, is all I really want. Besides, God knows best what Cory and I need. He knows if the boys should have a brother or a sister!

END OF WEEK 5,,, I sort of feel pregnant, well sometimes. I was feeling a little sick to my stomach off and on but that has went away the last few days! (Which scares me! I would rather be sick and KNOW my baby is still alive than NOT be sick!) BUT, yesterday my breasts hurt something crazy and my nipples are very tender too so I guess that is good! I also feel like my belly is poking out some and its getting hard to keep it sucked in!! I will be 6 weeks on Tuesday the 25th so I am guessing the morning sickness and symptoms will kick in more as I get farther along. I also hope my husband will starting getting into this pregnancy and start preparing himself for Daddy of an infant! I guess he has 8 more months so surely he will be ready by then huh?

MY due date is April 20th... which is sort of cool since our wedding anniversary is April 19th.
We have actually told quite a few people about me being pregnant already so hoping we didn't jinx ourselves... wait, I'm not superstitious!!!
WHO knows:
Susie, (Cory,) Jill, Melissa, Grandma Horsie, Tasha T, Aunt Christi, Grandma Sharon, Aunt Sandy, Aunt Resann and Jay, Terry H, Jenni BL, and I think that is it... Cory's mom wants to tell more friends and family but I would rather wait until after the U/S at 9 weeks!

MY next appt is Sept 17th at 9am! EXCITING!!!! PRAYIN for STRONG, STEADY Heartbeat!

Also, a bit hard for me in where I am at,,,, I found out last night that Jeremy Camp's wife, Addi, just miscarried at about 14 weeks~ So sadden by the news and scared for my baby even more~

THINGS I am scared about:
Getting stinking huge and gaining too much weight
Maternity Leave-having baby too early and having to come back to school the last two weeks or so
Money issues while at home with NO PAY for six weeks!
Cory- just in general since this will be his first time with an infant

OKAY, that' s about it, I will do my best to post an update every week! Praying for a healthy baby and bring on the morning sickness!
Trusting in the Lord!